End of Finals

Another year has almost passed since I last posted, hahaha. It's amazing to think that I'm already done with Junior year at SMU after completing my last finals on Friday. This year was definitely more stressful since I actually did care about my grades and wanted to keep my gpa up. Gawd. I don't know how other students can survive fussing over their grades ALL. THE. TIME. 

Well I know I only have to be concerned about my grades for the last semester since I'm heading to Ireland for exchange next semester with QH and I'm so stoked!! Hehe. Oh, and my module during summer term. It was annoying having to take summer term but dear old SMU is stopping the IEA module in AY 2017/18 S1, which is when I'll be overseas. So I have to clear this module before I head to Ireland 😒 The annoying thing is I'm pretty sure the school will end up opening another module for IEA in AY 2017/18 S2 even though I did email them but they said no. It's just going to piss me off so much then since I'm wasting time + money taking the summer module. But oh well, I don't want to risk my graduation.

Moving onto more interesting things!

Shadow Box Layout + Cheaper Alternatives

Hiya all! (: Singapore's weather is really humid nowadays. I had just asked mum to cut my hair this morning but I'm thinking to go shorter since even QH thinks there's no difference 😂 

I was planning to bake some blueberry muffins and probably something chocolate-y but found out we had just ran out of plain flour and caster sugar. So I'm currently sitting on the sofa in the living room typing out this post while waiting for my mum to return home with the ingredients I need. And in a short span of 10 minutes I've already had two mosquito bites. Like seriously 😒

I've done a shadow box layout some time ago to place at the top landing of my room stairs but decided to do some touchups on it and also photograph it. Since I have some time now, I finally decided to get down to it and edit the photographs and pen down this post.

Summer Holidays as a Sophomore

Should it be as a sophomore or a junior? I'm not entirely sure too. Technically I've completed my 2^nd year aka 4^th semester. But it is still the summer holidays. Well, whatever.

Mother's Day Update + Card and Gift Tutorials and Ideas!

Mother's Day celebration is usually a yearly affair with my family and we celebrated with mum's side of the family over a barbecue this year as well.

Many things have happened over the past year, and I feel like I've grown and matured a lot. So much so that I know I've not been that good a daughter to my mum and my godmother. It's especially hard when I am not one to be super affectionate or good with expressing my feelings.

Twenty.

It's hard to believe I turned 20 two weeks ago.

Technically I've already lived a quarter of my life and this scares me.

I guess it is because there are still so much things I want to do,

but I know that I won't have much time left.

Not in the I'm-dying-soon sense though hahaha.

More of like I'm going graduate in 3 years and have to start working TT

Which means there's a lot of things I can't do.

Less time less freedom, more stress more responsibilities.

Let's take a look at a list of stuff I want to do but have not done due to various reasons lol:

1. Bungee jump

Okay so people who knows me know I like thrilling and exciting rides.

Heck I probably will go into extreme sports lol.

But people are afraid for my safety, blah blah blah.

And even qh don't want me to bungee jump idk why.

2. Get a nose piercing

Okay so this is something that I want for a long time, I just didn't tell anyone about it.

I just want a nostril piercing, nothing too extreme like septum.

But I think many people will object to it.

For example my parents and qh and maybe even xy lol.

I would imagine fatin will agree to this hahah.

But I'm worried about internship cause apparently nose piercings closes really fast.

So its not like I can just take out the stud or smth.

And what if it closes and have scar?? My nose is on my face ley. It'll be so obvious.

And the pain. I'm scared of needles TT

3. Get a tattoo (or maybe more than one)

Okay so I like those small subtle tattoos, which explains why I say maybe more than one.

I think they're cute! Not meh. 

Okay, they are cute. 

Getting a tattoo is like a lifelong thing though, so obviously I have to think about what I want to ink.

And ya, my parents will kill me if they find out.

Oh! And I think it would be weird when I walk into the tattoo parlor looking like a 16 yo. 

4. Go somewhere with baby and just have fun and not have to think about anything

So qh and me usually go to the same places for dates.

Eat at the same restaurants.

And its not that I'm complaining since I like it and hate changes anyway.

But I wana go somewhere fun!

Going overseas for a vacation would be great.

But it's so expensive and my parents will probably object to the both of us traveling alone.

Maybe we can go like USS since we've never been there tgt!

Or like wild wild wet maybe. I saw that they have some freaking cool new rides omg.

Like legit serious exciting tall water slides.

5. Finally start my online fashion store

This is like a long time wish already hahah.

I even bought all the supplies for making jewelry,

came up with the name, designed the logo and made stamps and everything.

Somehow I just couldn't take the last step, idkw.

6. Maybe start another home decor online store

Okay so this is a new thingy. 

Like I always see a lot of cool and interesting home decor.

Or I have ideas for making decor etc.

But ya I only have 1 room to decorate and its not very big anyway hahahha.

7. Really get into scrapbooking

Many people know I'm into crafting and scrapbooking etc.

But that phase just kinda passed a year or so ago.

And I really want to get into it and commit to it again.

It's fun and destressing.

It just takes a lot of time tho..

8. Cut my hair short, not too short, like just past shoulder length

Okay so obviously I've not done this yet since it took really long for me to grow out my hair.

And apparently when I cut my hair short in secondary school it wasn't nice but no one told me?!

And qh doesn't like me with short hair.

But like the shoulder hair length is quite popular nowadays!

I think I can't pull it off though since my hair is so thin and straight. Ugh.

Okay, I will post more next time! On what happened on my birthday hehhe.

CT's PCP

Was browsing through google and tumblr for inspiration for my personal creative project.

Yes I'm going to do something artsy.

#stayingtruetomyroots

So... it's going to be something to do with the galaxy and stars and the space.

I mean, they look so magical!!

Personally the milky way is the most amazing and cool one.

And I alrd have a concept for that alrd.

But I wana do more like other space stuff?

Planets are too dull tho lol. 

I mean look at Mars or Jupiter.

The colours are just... meh

http://www.spitzer.caltech.edu/glimpse360/

Check out the link for a 360° view of the milky way. 

Really cool!

Was looking through NASA's instagram too.

Exploded stars and black holes seems to be really cool subjects too!

Hey ☹

I can't believe my last post was actually on recess week 1 semester ago.

Hahahha.

不知不觉, it's been a week after recess week this semester already.

In 4 more weeks I'd have completed year 1.

How time flies.

Recently I've been thinking of the point of continuing my studies.

If I include this semester I'd have completed 10 modules already.

I've seriously learnt nothing much tho.

The most relevant and useful mods to me are pwr and mc I guess.

So, what's the point of spending 10k a year,

40k for my whole uni studies just to get a degree?

I really see no point.

Feels like a waste of money to me.

It doesn't matter if its a small sum.

I'd just go along with it.

But its not... Haha.

Sometimes I feel so lost.

I don't know what I'm doing at times.

Don't know what I'm doing all these for.

Don't know what I'm studying for.

Don't know why I'm still staying in school when I hate it;

When I know I'm not going to give my 100%.

But its also true that I won't know what to do if I'm not studying.

I only wish the choice would be simpler and much more clearer.

If the choice wouldn't have much consequences.

If it doesn't matter even if I chose to continue studying when I'm not giving my all.

Sometimes I wonder what is the point of anything.
Why are we alive?
What are we meant to do?

Recess week is a lie

Anyeong! 

Cute kitten to start off the post, meoowwwww~

So where was I?

Oh yea.

Recess week.

It's a joke.

Recess week is a lie.

It's not a recess at all lol.

I even go back to school on more days than normal school week.

Fine, I admit my normal school week is only 3 days.

But seriously, I don't even go back to school on weekends;

And now I have to during recess week?

Ugh. This is so annoying!!

One thing I hate the most - hypocritical people.
The organisation I hate the most?
Probably the Singapore's education system and all the damn schools; public, private or what not.

I mean, why the f would you name a recess week recess week if it wasn't a recess.
Similarly in pri/sec and jc.
Why the heck would you call it June holidays or March holidays when it isn't a holiday ?!

Wtf is wrong with these people !!
Either:
1. Their english sucks and their concept of holiday/recess is TOTALLY off
2. There isn't any communication between the different departments i.e. the department that decides when we have holiday vs the chers/profs vs exam committee

I wouldn't be so mad if they had not called it a holiday or a recess week and made us go back to school.
But because they called it a freaking holiday/recess week I damn well deserve my break.

And the most annoying of all would be setting all the datelines or project presentation dates immediately after holiday/recess ends.
Like wtf, just cause you never ask us to return back to school doesn't make you innocent.
Your datelines and stuff forces us to return back to school. Ugh.

Here comes the best part:
Not many seems to mind that we are back in school during recess week.
At least in smu, that is.
So many people studying in school, omg.
K maybe they were forced too but...

Finally, project groups.
I hate it when groups wana meet up unnecessarily.
Wtf I live in woodlands ok?!
According to wq foreign friend woodlands is in the outskirts of Singapore ok?
You know how fucking long I take to reach school?
Sometimes the to and fro trip is longer than the meeting itself wtf.

And where I live doesn't even matter anyway.
Why so many different meetups?
Why cannot just meet and finish everything in 1 or 2 days?
So damn annoying omg.

Everytime people ask to meetup for projects/presentations I'm like:

But deep inside ima be like:

Okay, if any of my groups members are reading this, please don't take it to heart.
I mean it's not like I could say in your face that I don't want to come to school for project cause I live too far away, am too lazy to come to school, rather do the project from home while still able to wake up at like 2pm.

Yeah, recess week is here.
It's tuesday.
Time to "relax" hahah.

Growing up, or not.

So, today was the first day of BOSS bidding for freshmen.

That was supposed to be the most eventful event (what..? this phrase sounds weird) already.

But nope, I was wrong.

So after bidding I bathed and went out to run some errands.

Bought a green tea frappe to sip on while walking back since it was so damn sunny and hot.

Yup, if you're reading my post recent enough (what's wrong with my phrasing today?!) you can see my insta post on the green tea frappe.

At that point of time, my most impt concern was the price of the frappe, the sun causing me to sweat and the damn traffic light taking too long to turn green.

Anyways.

I went to the clubhouse to report the loss of 2 of our unit's access card for the side gate and to apply for new ones.

They took a long time to check and I already suspected something was wrong because:

The 2 remaining cards in our possession have serial no.s which are too far apart.

Everything after that was like ... sucky. Really sucky.

Upon leaving the club house I was upset, frustrated, on the brink of crying and instead of 4 access cards, had only 1.

So what happened was:

1. The indian receptionist was visibly annoyed when I told her the cards were lost 1 month ago (oh btw, I lied. lol. I think my brother's card was lost like half a year ago. & I lied cos I could tell she was getting annoyed)

1. After checking, she asked me (very accusingly) why I had possession of 1 of the access cards which belonged to another unit (dafuq it makes me mad to recall it now cause from her tone she sounds like she suspected I stole it!! wtf.)

1. I told her I'm not sure cause the card belonged to my bro and he could have accidentally swapped it with his many friends living in the same condo as us

1. At this point of time another chinese gal working in the office came to take a look at our file and said they have to confiscate the card cause it doesn't belong to us so we can't use it (reasonable, at this point of time)

1. Some more chinese gal said my name, photo, particulars whatever are not in our unit's file (wait..what?! her tone.. her tone!!! ugh. is she accusing me of impersonating a resident now on top of stealing an access card?!)

1. Then !! When I tried to hand in the form indian receptionist passed me to report loss of cards and to apply for new ones, chinese gal said I can't, cause I'm not registered as a tenant (fk you)

1. Finally they passed me a piece of paper with the serial no. of the card which didn't belong to us to 'check' if my bro friend took our card (wait, so you want me to ask my bro to ask his friend to ask their family members if their access cards have serial no. similar to the one you wrote me?? it's so troublesome!! can't you just tell me which unit it belongs to and we can go ask them?)

1. Lastly as if taking me for a kid, chinese gal asked me to go home and check this box you get when you get the keys for the condo that there isn't any cards inside because if there isn't it means we had lost 3 access cards ley! (yes she said 'key' and she said it in a tone that implies losing 3 cards is a lot when wtf 1 of the card is really ours but jus swapped!! ugh)

On the short walk home I called mum, telling her about how I couldn't apply for more access cards and even had 1 of them taken away from me.

Reached home and minutes later dad was home too.

I told him what happened and I think he could sense the quiver in my voice and how upset I was.

Surprisingly (or not) dad offered (or rather authoritatively announced) that he was going to accompany me back to apply for the cards.

Back in the club house, I could tell dad was angry, his tone different.

It was so awkward for me.. 

At that point I realised what a child I was.

19 years old of age and still so easily shaken and upset, still needing my dad to stand up for me.

During dad's talk with chinese gal (I assume she's the most senior there), I saw indian receptionist say smth to another girl working in the office... 

I was quite sure it was smth bout us but oh well, who knows!

oh btw, the said card which they assumed me or my bro or my family "stole/found" DID indeed belong to my bro's friend (yeah fk you stupid ppl in the clubhouse). 

Btw the way they replied my dad when my he explained that most probably my bro and his friend's card got swapped was.. skeptical. 

They sounded like they didn't believe us and we just made up some stupid story to justify us in the possession of an access card which belonged to another unit.

AND, they didn't return us that card ._.

Cause according to them it didn't belong to us and we can only get it if we show them that my bro friend has our card instead.

BUT. That isn't possible. Why?

Cause chinese gal told us before the unit which should have that card has reported all their access cards missing.

So in that cause we theoretically had 1 card taken from us. 1 card costs $30 to replace btw.

Oh and there's a very contradicting part according to what they told us:

all access cards reported missing will be deactivated immediately and they cannot be used.

Now, would you all refer to the paragraph above where chinese gal said that that unit has reported all their access cards missing? (if you can't find it, I have ever so kindly highlighted it in a very pretty shade of maroon. you're welcome)

So if that was the case, the card which my bro has been using all along, which originally belonged to that unit should have been deactivated (the office has records of the serial no. of cards each unit has) ;

but he has been using that card for god knows how long without any difficulties lard..

Hmmm... are you confused now? Hahahah.

Gosh. Typing really makes me feel better.

So much better.

Sigh, university is going to start soon.

Hope I can cope well.

Hope I can grow stronger emotionally and not be affected or shaken by others this easily.

All these times I tot I grew, and grow I did; in age & in weight.

But not mentally or emotionally.

PS// I was in no way trying to be racist when I used words like chinese gal or indian receptionist. I mean, it was much better than calling them ugly, snobbish, bullies or unprofessional right?

PSS// I just realised there was a chinese, indian and malay working in the office. Coincident much? Lol. Or some weird govt. policy for racial harmony? Hmm....

Shitty stuff I hate

The worst shit always happens to me I swear.

By that I don't mean results  or studies or what not.

I mean like those awkward situations which I really can't handle.

Like for example dropping my coins in a toilet cubicle.

Like seriously?! So do I put my hand under to the next cubicle to pick up my coins or not.

And this happened like not once but I think thrice to me already?!

Fuck I even dropped my wallet in those squatting toilet once.

And it was when I went to Chengdu for an exchange trip in P5.

And yes I picked up my wallet cause all my money was in it.

Other shitty stuff happens too. Like really downright fucked up shit.

Like just the other day this fucking bird shit on my hand.

Like wtf I didn't even know when it happened ?!

I was walking to the bus stop UNDER SHELTER,

 and the next thing I know I saw this suspicious black matter on my hand.

I wiped it off with my last remaining piece of tissue.

And god knows what came over me but I smelled my hand...

AND IT STINKS SO DAMN F-INV BAD I SWEAR ITS LIKE PEE AND IDK WHAT

JUS DAMN FOUL SMELLING AND I WANA PUKE.

And the thing was there was an accident near the bus stop and there was like,

a group of police officers and those people involved standing RIGHT NEXT TO THE DUSTBIN.

Yes I held on to the tissue 😩

And the story doesn't end there.

In my hurry to get to the mrt station so that I can wash my hands,

I boarded the wrong  bus  (which btw didn't have those bins near the doors for me to throw the tissue)

God knows where it took me but I alighted quickly.

Had to wait like 10+mins for another bus to take me to the mrt 😭

Must have washed my hands like dozens of times after but I still did not dare to put my hands near any part of my body for the rest of the day.

And well, the shit-est thing happened to me today.

The bane of my life – insects.

And in decreasing order of scariness and hatred towards them,

I oresent to you;

cockroaches, lizards, beetles, any other flying insects, mosquitos, worms/millipedes/caterpillars/etc, every other insects.

As you may or may not know, I live on the first floor, in a condo surrounded by trees and grass and what not, insects favorite habitat. Ugh.

To add icing to the cake, my room is beside the damn rubbish chute.

So what happens is insects especially cockroaches ALWAYS comes into my room.

My room has 2 levels and I always instruct everyone in my family that the  windows on the top level MUSY NEVER EVER be open since I sleep on the too level.

But they always don't listen and ugh.

I JUST HATE GOING UPSTAIRS TO SLEEP ONLY TO FIND MYSELF STARING INTO THE EYES OF A DAMN LIZARD OR SEEING THAT FAT DISGUSTING COCKROACH WITH ITS FEELERS OR EVEN SMELLING THE COCKROACH! (HELL YEAH I CAN SMELL COCKROACHES WTF RIGHT)

Anyway, today it was a lizard. A huge one. 

Normally when I scream for my mum she'll scold me and stuff.

So today I calmly went to find her and inform her of that damn intruder.

Even she admits that it's a huge lizard. 

Fuck it's huge and has stripes on it's tail omg I can't even. Argh!!!

So anyway I don't dare to chase it out and mum says to jus let it go out naturally.

Like seriously?! When's that going to be? How long will it take man.

And the thing is that means I can't turn on my aircon and the open windows may attract for insects to come in.

Ong. I fucking hate this. Fml.

So anyway I'm writing this post now cause I'm sitting on my bed,

Hugging my pillows and soft toys away from the lizard, hoping it'll exit through the window soon.

Bad news is it hasn't moved for like and an hour or so alrd...

Fuck you. Fuck you damn van der waals forces for allowing lizards to climb walls.

I hate this. 

Please go out soon.

I'm tired and I want to sleep.

I'm sorry for the lengthy picture less post at 4am  in the morning.
It's not like I could bear to even search for and look at pictures of insects,
let alone posting them on my blog.
And I really had to rant about this since it always happens.
Ugh. K. Bye for now.
Will do a proper update bout my life soon.

xoxo

Written papers .

pardon my face I just woke from nap and my eyes were really itchy and sore

My sweetest baby sent me this link just now and said "this one all my dar dar"

http://jamesmsama.wordpress.com/2013/11/13/10-ways-to-know-your-girl-is-a-keeper/

Awwww ~ Love him, hehhe ^^

So baby if you're reading this, here's my reply:

I've already found that person and its you ❤

You're just too lovable.

I'm falling too hard.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So anyway I took my last written paper today, or maybe ytd since its like 1am now.

Was really jittery before the paper I swear.

Probably cause the day before the paper I didn't studied :(

And I even promised myself I will study lolol. Empty promises meh.

In the end slept at 4am wtf. If baby knows I'm dead.

But most probably he's going to know when he reads this. Booooo.

So during the paper I still felt like anxious and stuff.

Just wana finish asap since I know I always can't complete.

Ended up finishing the paper in like 90mins?! 

I mean it excludes this one whole question in section a that idk and some random explaination parts.

Was seriously freaking out I thought I missed out some questions,

or was supposed to do all 3 questions for section b or smth.

But bleh, still used up all my time on the question that I didn't know how to do.

And after the paper baby told me everyone tot q6 was hard so chose q7 & q8 D:

I chose q6 lo omgxz I gg already. Hais.

Econs paper on Monday was okay I guess?

I mean I know how to do majority like more than 50% luh lol.

Didn't have time to finish too I mean I don't get how anyone can finish?!

Wanted to give up halfway cause it was so boring and sian and the paper, 3hrs. Wtf. Kill me.

My hand like went numb for the last 5 mins. I freaking swear.

So painful, then it turns to numbness TT

Oh and the essay question I chose to write on current account.

But lol I wasn't sure between current and capital account - which was which.

Was kinda scared but took the gamble instead.

Thank goodness I was right - phew.

And baby waited for me till my paper ended.

Discussed some parts and he say I gna get like E ._. cause like BOP i forgot mention j curve etc.

He says that's what differentiate the people that get a and b and whatever, the small details.

Oh and he says those that from h2 drop to h1 work much harder.

But still... E! E ley. Can't he be abit nicer :( I sad.

Grr. What's over is over anyway.

I just hope I had done enough. I mean I can't say I did my bestest luh.

There were times I just slacked off. 

And I only really started like 1-2weeks before A's :/

So next week will be paper 1 for both sciences! Rahhhh.

Must really work hard now okay, jingyi?

Must garner as much marks as possible, last chance already.

So weird. Talking to myself..

Kay I guess you guys will be bored by all these words already luh.

I update more interesting stuff:

Today

So mum fetched me and darling from cwp.

Took some pictures on the car but I'm too lazy to edit cause baby just look too good I look super bad :(

Came home I forgot what I did but soon fell on the sofa and slept.

Woke up to darling watching running man and I watched baby videos.

Dang they're super cute, funny, adorable and extremely chubby ~
And here comes the perfect combi - kids with animals.

Dayummmmm.

They are so freaking cute ohmygoshhhhhxz.

Sunday

So we had bbq for both bros' birthday celebration.

Darling came and yeah... did some stuff to upset him so I'm so so sorry :( 

Don't angry or sad !!

Halfway through me, my boyf and my cousins went to the playground to play.

Was fun at first and got some other cute little kids also.

And then comes along some retarded young kids who came to pick fight with us.

Like seriously?!

This one boy uh. Wth. Keep say what girls noob will lose to guys.

But he ownself lost to the 2 girls who were with him ._.

Then he keep taunting us say we don't dare challenge him run, catching etc.

Wtf luh we're like so much older it's obvious who will win lol.

Really tried to ignore him lo.

Kids these days . I finally get what people mean.

And those 2 girls following him. Sheesh.

You girls no backbone uh? He hit you scold you etc still stand on his side? Fucktards.

Fucking rude and vulgar all these kids.

So yeah I'll be vulgar too, a finger for ya _|_

Fuck off lol, you're too young. It's too early for you to come pick a fight.

Damn joke.

Prom

So I had bought my dress(es), heels and some accessories offline.

And I helped val khoo buy clutches.

But then that stupid toll express. Knn.

They send in transit and stopover at like hongkong.

Then I was like okay...

But then they sent it back to the place of origin. Walaoooo.

Hope they arrive at least a few days before prom so I still have time buy smth else if the stuffs don't fit.

Kay, enough of ranting I guess.
Will update again soon. And probably a less words more pics post. Hahah.
Oh, have to share this awesome vid:

MINDBLOWNXZ.

8th Day

Totally relatable, just that we need to change high school to jc.

So the hell week is coming to an end.

Will be sitting for physics paper 2 later on today.

I'm like totally in holiday mood alrd even though I should be studying.

Bad. Very bad move jingyi.

But you guys should take a look at this:

Looks good right!!! Salivating right now.

So I was watching masterchef australia and I saw 2 contestants cooking this.

CRISPY SKIN PORK BELLY !!

Fuck. It looks too damn good I'm so hungry.

I just had to go look for the recipe online.

Shall try cooking it after a's. Yay!

I wonder if it taste like 烧肉  though. I just had that for dinner muahahaha.

So... back to A's. As I was saying, considering my past few papers, I don't think I did really well. Haha.

Math was full of careless mistakes like always.

And paper 2 was hard. Really hard.

For once I couldn't do pnc AND it had to be during a's, AND its a 12 mark question ._.

Chem papers were doable - which is bad for me too.

Cause I'm not strong at chem so performing okay will put me at the bottom of that bell curve.

Hais. Why my brain lidad? Why I still not motivated to work harder for subsequent papers?!

Omg what am I doing right now on the computer, blogging my heart out...

Okay, nvm.

I shall study after I finish this post.

Seriously needing some retail therapy right now.

In fact I alrd filled up my cotton on cart alrd (; Heh heh heh.

It's fine to reward myself with this little something right?

I mean, this past week was really bad.

I can't believe that it's almost the end of the hell week alrd.

Been looking very bad the past weeks.

Tons of acne, super dark eye circles.

I look terrible without my specs and fringe to cover it all up. I look scary to myself even.

And I've been growing really fat omgxz.

I tot exam stress will make me slimmer?! Why I become fatter TT

GOSH.

Hope that all this will be worth it though. Please, I just want average B ok? Is that too much to ask for?

qihua & jingyi : we hate exams !! we just wana slack , even if it's a levels ! Grrr. 

(front camera hide flaws really well btw, I look... okay. hahahahah)

What's wrong with my memory?

Hi whoever is up at this hour and reading my blog instead of studying or sleeping or having fun.

So here I am, approx. 13hours away from my chem paper.

And I seriously can't remember much.

So freaking screwed :(

I swear my memory is damn bad.

Like how I was chatting with wanqi on the wee hours of sunday morning.

We were talking about the past and she told stuffs that I never knew existed, much less told her about.

Idk was it cause its like 3am in the morning so my brain was in a mess,

esp. after studying for so long.

But up till now I still don't recall anything about what she said. Lol.

Hais. Chem please be nice to me tmr. Like really, I just need a B okay?

Math was bad today. Like I could do some but some I couldn't.

And first time I need the whole 3hrs but still can't solve some questions.

And then after the paper everyone was talking about it and I was like omg fml.

Apparently I missed out alot of stuffs in the questions.

So my answers are wrong luh ._.

And I thought I could manage a decent pass lol.

Okay, nvm. I always think back but when I get back my scripts I fail badly.

Hais. Just hope weekends will come soon.

Cause' there's only physics and econs nxt week. 2 papers.

Much more manageable.

Waiting for baby to reply my wa.

But he's mia for very long already.

At random timings.

I need help for chem omgxz where are you.

Ok, I'm just rambling on and on now.

I wonder who takes the time to read all these crap I type.

Oh btw, I screamed my lungs out jus now so my throat really hurts.

I was in the toilet and felt something in my hair when I touched it.

My mum jumped out of bed thinking something happened.

Apparently there was nth luh so idk.

Must be too stressed alrd.

Really hope I can get decent grades.

Dunnid be straight A's or what not luh.

I just dw to dissapoint my parents.

I mean idm if I don't get into any uni.

I just don;t know how they'll react.

Well, I still rmb how they reacted to my PSLE and O's result lol.

Wasn't a fun experience I tell you.

And the look on baby's face when I ask him to see my O's cert.

I swear his face jus changed and I freaked out. Damn.

Oh baby replied.

-

Okay anyway, I jus hope this shit ends soon luh wtf.

Cannot tahan already and I only sat for like 2 papers. So joke hahah.

Seriously this fucking society and uni and employers gna judge us based on this fucking piece of paper called a cert.

Oh, not forgetting the cca records, service learning and what not/

Please lor my sec sch one so nice why dw see that must see jc one.

Just cause I accomplished those stuff earlier doesn't mean they don't count right?

Day 3 of 20

The title sounds really horror show -ish idk why hahaha.

Well its quite fitting though, considering that gp paper was like ...

BAD. REALLY BAD.

Hais.

Somermore tmr is the start of hell week omgxz.

Yes, thunder and lightning.

So very apt for my situation next week really.

Wait its not really next week its like in another 20mins or so :O

So next week's schedule is like math chem math chem phys.

Wtf right I know okay.

Super jittery this past weekend cause I was afraid I won't have enough time to study.

Okay, fine. I still am quite worried.

Spent my friday afternoon and weekend studying mostly phys and math.

Really wonder how I'm gna rmb my chem stuff TT

It was quite a fruitful and fun weekend though (:

Was able to spend quality time with wanqi, xinyi and fatin.

Baby accompanied me home after gp on friday. Then I slept.

Woke up in the evening, studied with wanqi, had dinner and continued to study with wanqi.

Then xinyi came over and I finally slept around 3am?

Saturday didn't start really well - I woke up around 2pm lol.
BUT IT WAS THEEEEE BESSSSTTTTT

So I bathed and had lunch and went over to wanqi house to study with her and fatin.

That was really fun. 

We did talk and watched some shows and stuff.

And wanqi has proven to be a really good cook once again.

So somewhere in between aft fatin left,
at approx. midnight,
my darling baby wa me.
It was our 43rd monthsary omggggggggggg.
How could I have forgotten?!
Thanks baby, i love you ❤❤❤

yes please ignore my really unglam face beside my usually super handsome and cute qihua//you have my permission to stare at him instead.

here's a better looking pic of both of us tgt back in us//he still looks better though..

Went home a happy girl around 3am and slept ((:

Sunday morning means tuition.

I woke around 11+ when tuition supposed to start at 11.

Thank goodness it was pushed back to 230pm

So after tuition with baby we ate then went over to wanqi hse again to study.

I thought it was abit awkward btwn xinyi and baby hahahahah.

Anywaysssssss.

Its 1128pm now.

Math P1 starts at 8am tmr.

Feeling okay right now. Just hoping I can rmb my stuffs :(

Oh, and I need go memorise the vectors stuff too.

And and hopefully read abit of chem and phys and memorise those shit.

Ahhhh. So many 'and' s

Thinking of studying with wanqi again this week cause it was quite productive.

Wanqi if you're reading this I hope you don't mind !!

Well let's gooooooooo h2 pcm peeps.

Leave no regrets. That's what they always say right? (:

 On a side note my previous posts had alot of views idk why even. Lol.

Abit scary. And shocking.

a levels

A's would officially start tmr for me.

In less than 12 hours I'll be in the school hall taking the gp paper.

Strangely calm.

That's how I'd describe my feelings and emotions right now.

So calm that it scares me.

Don't really understand why I feel how I feel right now, haha.

It's not like I studied a lot,

or that I have like this abundance of content in my brain right now I'm so freaking confident.

It's so weird.

Should be studying really hard like everyone else right now.

But it's so damn boring and I'm so easily distracted.

All I wana do is watch some variety shows / sitcoms / dramas right now.

But I shouldn't right?

I mean I didn't really studied that much the past days, weeks and months.

Well, what can I say.

Lalala ~

Next week will be a tough week.

Really gotta get my act together lol.

Well most probably I'm gna be super panicky like 30mins before the paper tmr.

Hahahah

Well, good nights all.

I find these 2 gifs really interesting, calming, cool, whatever.

It just kinda draws you in.

Blah. Okay, should really go study now.

And good luck to all those taking the paper tomorrow!

Post-Prelims Shit

Shall start this post with something cute:

This baby panda is soooo cute omgxz !!

It's probably how I look like now anyway.
Not the cute part, but the dark eye circles. Lol.

Okay, anyway.
So school started this week, or technically last friday.
And let me tell you it's fucking boring in school okay?
I find myself really lost sometimes like idk what to do next.
There's so much stuff to do and our schedule is so packed?!

Like normal lessons from 9amm-3/4/5pm ++
And if this is not enough teachers make us stay back for EXTRA supplementary.
Yes. It's on top of the supplementary allocated to each subjects fortnightly.
And then we have to come early for timed practice and what not.
Our school used to say we end lessons late because we start school late.
But seriously lo, we start only 1 hr later than other JCs, 2 hrs max; but we end school so much later?!
Somemore sometimes have to come back in the morning.
Lol. Fucking joke.

So tell me now what you want from me uh?
On average I wake up at 5am+, reach home 5/6pm+
I seriously already have very little time to consolidate and study,
and the school still give so much practice papers...
So how? Should I brush up on my basics and neglect all those piles of  papers?
Then end up getting scolded for not doing my work and giving the impression that's why I score badly.
I can't understand why they have to give us so much papers.
Especially for already weak students like me? ._.
Like dude, teachers,

You gotta use your damn brain.
Hais. I hate school :(
Can't wait for A's to end.
Until then I guess I'd be complaining and ranting alot here, lol.

On a happier note, I went out with 1215 girls after prelims for dinner ^^
Then the next day I head out with baby to town.
Shall blog about it another day.
Oh, and baby made me promise I'll study hard from now on.
And that's after he said I'm the slack-est girl he ever met. Tsk.
Have to go finish my math paper now. Sigh.

I feel sick; kinda feverish, heaty-ish, cold and everything shitty at the same fucking time.

是的，已经快到终点了，只要再坚持多一些。

All I wish for is ...

After chatting with someone, I've come to realise that all I wish for is a normal life. I don't need to be the best, I don't need to excel, I just need to live and be happy.

Some people may say I don't have 骨气, some might say I'm weak, others like boyf will just totally disagree with me. I mean, I don't blame them. I used to be like that, wanting to be the best in everything I do, to excel in my studies and my cca. That was back then... Those who have known and been with me long enough knows that I'm achieving less as time progresses. Lol. Well, let me just boast a little here okay? In primary school I used to be like quite good in my studies, got SYF award and I even made this scarf with my teacher for the PRESIDENT'S WIFE (YES I KNOW OMFG?!) Then in secondary school I did quite well in volleyball (2 zonals, 1 nationals placing I think) and all the sports day stuff. Now I'm all like failing every exams and tests. Yup, this is like a road to destruction lol.

But it's true that as I grow older, I find our education systems really screwed up and I don't really learn much useful stuff in the end. I thought it's the end result that's really important?!

Anyway, I've now realised that it's okay to not be the best. I mean, I admit I say that partly cos I'm not capable enough. (I mean, I really can't remember all those damn f-ing formulas and reagents and conditions and what not okay?! It's too much for my brain but I still can understand math problems okay? I'm not THAT bad yet but school is really boring D: Most of the time I look like this:



 But the more important reason is because I've realised I don't need to be the best, not even be great to be successful in life.

I don't need to be on honour roll, I don't need to score straight A's, I just need to know my goal and work towards it. I mean like, so what if you're the top scorer? It's not going to be reflected in your A levels cert right? Haha. I don't need to get straight A's to get into a business course, I don't need a scholarship too. So what's the point? I just need to do well enough what.

So right now all I need is to score enough to get into a business course in either NTU, NUS or SMU (Yes, it's impt that it'll be a public uni). And after that I'm going to work towards fulfilling my dream of starting my own business, yay! ^^

People and adults always ask me what business I want to start. I mean, I don't really know how to reply them? 80% of the time I give a different answer, hahah. Cause I REALLY don't know. Friends have also made suggestions to venture in the crafting field cause I make pretty gifts and cards (Yes, thank you and I'm not going to be all humble and say I'm not. But it doesn't mean I'm arrogant too!). I'll consider that too, but it all depends. I'm just going to see what's in and popular and sell that! That'll make me the most money, no? Like right now I tried selling a variety of stuff but the most hot selling are the inspired nb shoes. I also don't know why seriously. But if it makes my customers happy and it earns me money. Then well, why not! 

At this point some may say I'm not following my 'Be Happy' principle cause I'm just selling and setting up a business that makes me the most money but not what I love and want. But if you think again, whoever said you can only have 1 business? Nobody! I can sell something I like such as diy and craft stuffs, or some sweet treats or design and sell my own line of jewellery and apparels. At the same time I can just have a business that guarantees profit which I'll just oversee and leave the details and minor decisions to employees. So yup, I still can be happy and do what I love :D

Yes, I'm very ambitious. Hahahahah. I wana earn money, start a loving family and enjoy my life all at the same time. I don't really care what others think, really. Haters gonna hate and leave some bad comments D: Now all I have to do is to conquer A's lol. And even if I don't, I alrd have my backup plan up and going and yup, I'm determined to live my dreams. So f you haters.

So..... yup. Thanks for reading my really lengthy, out of point at times and quite nonsensical blogpost/rants. For those of you who aren't doing well in studies now like me, no worries! (Ok, now all my friends are going to say I'm being carefree again TT) There's still some time left (:

And...I shall go back to studying now :(



ps// I've decided to export my old blog posts cause some of them are really weird even I can't explain it okay TT Idk what I was thinking back then. Omg.
Only kept the more meaningful posts which I know I still type weirdly.